Thoughts That Keep Us Up at Night

  • I have locked the door, haven’t I?
  • If I fall asleep now, I’ll have six hours and 17 minutes of solid rest.
  • Did I imagine that noise from the kitchen?
  • Ah, it must be the cat.
  • Wait a minute, the cat is here…
  • So WHO was that?!
  • It’s too hot.
  • And now it’s too chilly.
  • I can feel some nasty bags forming under my eyes.
  • Tomorrow I’m gonna look like I’ve been run over by a truck. Repeatedly.
  • …Still, what was that noise?!
  • I’ll just hold onto my phone and sleep like that, just in case.
  • Hmmm, I should check Instagram.
  • …And maybe Facebook, real quick.
  • Oh, hey, new text!
  • …So, if I go to sleep right now, I’ll sleep for 5 hours and 32 minutes.
  • Wait, did I set my alarm?
  • What if it doesn’t go off?
  • Wheee, the chilly side of the pillow!
  • Holy cow, what just touched my shoulder?! A SPIDER?
  • Oh, just my hair.
  • I need a haircut.
  • I wonder how much it’ll cost.
  • Maybe I should just cut my own hair.
  • No, last time that didn’t go too well.
  • …What was that film, where Brad Pitt was wearing a hat?
  • There was also that other dude…
  • What was his name?!
  • Meanwhile, everyone else in this house must be already asleep.
  • Is that a siren? Is there a fire?
  • I’ll be surprised if any of my friends are awake right now.
  • God, I need a new mattress.
  • I’m gonna sleep on my tummy.
  • Now I can’t breathe. I’m gonna sleep on my back.
  • It’s been two hours. I could’ve been doing something useful this whole time.
  • I’m hungry.
  • Maybe I just need a good break.
  • Break. Breakfast. I’m hungry.
  • If I go to sleep now, I’ll have 4 hours till the alarm goes off.
  • …Ah, to hell with it! [Opens laptop]
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19 thoughts on “Thoughts That Keep Us Up at Night

  1. And a few more that seem unique to just me: I forgot to put the clothes from the washing machine into the dryer so I have nothing to wear to work tomorrow. I also forgot to pay my phone/utility/water bill. And I’m still pissed at Sharon for comment on my hair cut. The Viking is snoring. I’ll just poke him to shut him up and I’ll have a good 4 seconds to fall asleep before he starts again.

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